Realization

I failed to express how I truly feel, you've missed the points I wanted you to see
When your world turned me away, then my mind leads me astray
Its the time the meds aren’t enough, and our silence is harder than rough
All I want to do is scream, scream bloody murder, nothing and nowhere
For accepting defeat is improbable; Stockholm syndrome makes perfect sense
When our tears outweigh the light, When we cannot sleep at night
When nothing’s alright; when the face we wear outside is plastic and fake
When we’d finally break the vows we’d make

It laments me that the person I am and the person they see don’t match
I cant escape this fear that there’s no more you left to catch
Its oppressing to be subjected to make the world think I didn’t care
Even when the truth is there’s no one there
When an empty shell makes a better friend than air
Shut out, and shut-in, when our mind truly begin
When that which glistens is an old friend, With no one to quell you,
where and how shall it end?

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, just yet,
I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met,
How you felt around me? The memories we shared,
And just remember that once upon a time, we really cared.
Now think about how we parted, and how much we suffered,
But please don't speak, remember that I may have lied,
But I told you the honest truth about why and how I fucked on thy side,
But now I'd like you to know that my heart broke bit by bit.

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,
That I had hopes and dreams, that you were the one who threw them away,
And this is something I will always regret until my dying day.
Why do I still need to please you when I am already by your side?
In contrast, why do i still need to please you 
When you already decided to put US aside?
Why do I still need to make you believe more 
When I already offered you the rest of my life?
Why do I still need to tell you that you need to work WITH me for this?

Too soon for the sun to set, so much to learn and forget
Its too late to become grown yet too young to own
No climactic ending, a lot of confusion and pretending
So many ideas to fumble, so many hearts that crumb
Running head first when love sick, but so desperate to stick
And be just like everyone else, listening to no advice or help
Too much too soon, this relationship was over before noon…

Solitude is the common denominator
Maybe it’s the actions, the vices, 
the realization, isnt it?


Prohibi†ed

Ended

Sarah,

It took me days, to finalize this message, countless revisions to make sure my words are clear, and messages implied. I don’t know, I wanted to make it bold yet I know I might end up misunderstood. And I might turn out arguing or fighting with you if I try to impart my side. 

There are a lot of things going on my mind, but for you. I will make things short. And I wanted to make it helpful for you, since you’d love to make judgments by yourself, then this message is only full of thoughts and simple statements – comprehending, acceptance and all’s left to you.

*Firstly, I meant what I said, I am sorry.

*I tried to be silent against your accusations and insults.

*I said “take care, bye.” when I left. That was the first and only time I walked out of our conversation – You’re not always the only one who’ve had enough.

*The hell with where I’m into. Yeah, I know and I admit am good for nothing.

*God knows I loved you sincerely. Minahal kita Sarj, against all circumstances.

*True, hindi tayo nagkakasundo sa ibang mga bagay, lagi tayo nagaaway lately, and our commitment has given us loads of stresses and pains.

*But like I’ve shared you before, whenever I think of giving up, I came to think of the reason why I held on for so long. There's a lot of reasons for me to stay, and one could be more than enough; knowing we both loved.

*Love, something we had that’s worth fighting for, that’s worth dying for… forever, but I alone, since you gave up already.

*I cannot imagine just why and how you easily forgot everything that we had and utters only our mistakes and differences.

* Kung nagmamahal ka, first thing na iisipin mo shud be “how to solve the problems. What we can and what we cannot do about it. Yet, you won’t even let a talk happen between us.

*All these ended up this way, not because I failed to show you love – it’s just that I failed, to meet your expectations.

*To be your enemy would definitely be the last thing that I wanted now, if I could just turn back time, I should have ignored my feelings, and maintain a good friendship with you until the very time that we can do more, and better.

*Life offers limitless possibilities; I would be contented to be out of your life if that’s how you wanted me to.

*I had you, and am grateful to Him.

*I’d lost you, and might not have you even just as a friend, but I hope when the time comes, and we met. We both hold no grudges, but the good times and bonds we had, the short but true love we shared.

*Im sorry, I truly am.

 *Thank You, you’ve been the best part of my life, and will ever be.

*I love you.

*I love you, I will then, let God, and let go. But never will I get over you.

*Forgive me, I’ve forgiven you already.  We’re made perfectly as imperfects, you and I.

The last sentence holds great meaning; Forgiving means forgetting. If we don’t want things to happen over again, let us not bring the past up anymore. You’re right, and what’s done is done. We had a failed relationship, but forgetting doesn’t mean we can’t start anew again; in different circumstances. People change, it’s from you.

See? I made this short. Now, its ended...

Joemm