Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Men 101


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Guys are expert in NOTHING, but we must be practiced in many things. SKILLS! We don’t have to master them all at once. We simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as days tick by.
We Should Be Able To:
1. Throw a Punch – Knowing how to throw a good punch when the situations calls for it wouldn’t mark our reputation. Rule of thumb: Swing with your shoulders, not your arm. Forget about a roundhouse punch or haymaker, we’re not Manny Pacquiao. If you can strike hard enough using the heel of your palm, go with it. It serves the same purpose.
With this thin arms of mine, nah.. I know I couldn’t throw a punch, and I’ve been taking care of my hand since birth, for my talent preservation purposes? lolx But if it comes to self-defense, am sure am not a lowbie.. Instead to punch, I kick. I’m training taekwondo, footwork-so I guess I’ve an edge- running fast? haha
2. Name a good book – Twilight doesn’t count. Sorry.
Whew, our old house was a junk shop of reading materials-from books, to magazines, encyclopedia, newspapers etc. That made me a boy who’s interested in the wild-life. I’m not into science.. errr
3. Commute – Learn how to commute. There’s nothing sexier to a woman than having a man on her side with a good sense of direction. Trust me.
Like that’s my life, I want to travel someday. I never stayed a long week just steady at home. More than commuting, I must say I love walking and biking more.
4. Shuffle a deck of cards – Come on! Don’t even try to play cards with a girl and ask her to shuffle it for you. It doesn’t work. Practice how to do it now!
Can I say pass? I really don’t play cards.
5. Speak to an 8 year-old – Use his first name. Don’t use baby talk. Don’t crank up your energy to match his. Don’t pretend to be interested in Power Rangers, Gundam X or Street Fighter. He’s as bored with that shit as you are. Concentrate instead on seeing the child as a person of his own.
Mommy said, don’t talk to strangers! I mean, I’m not the man to tell stories or to entertain kids. But I’m not a snob, maybe when the chance knocks me to be jolly and keep a company of a kiddo, why not? Hmm I guess I’ve some experience- more with some childish people out there, who’s that? hehe
6. Say NO.
As a son, brother or to strangers- No means no. I don’t even lift a finger to do things I don’t want to do. Who are you? Should I care? But its different, maybe the exact opposite when it comes to those few who made me think am their friend, to those who matters to me, especially to someone I love. I can’t just say no to favors, and all.
7. Give advice that matters in ONE SENTENCE – Make sure your advice makes sense. Like.. “When in doubt, don’t” or “When nobody has your back, you gotta move your back.” Give them the best advice they’ll ever get. One sentence - Boom.
I know I can give advices; I speak seldom but you must be sure you’ll listen. Some say I can be a psychologist, but most says am a psycho..freak. Well, I could care less. Too few we’re able to hear me – and much fewer listens.
8. Tell if someone is lying – Everyone has his technique in catching a liar. But not all of them work. Liars change the subject almost instantaneously. Liars look up and to their right when they speak. Liars will sometimes stare dead straight into your eyes and employ a dead face. Just pick one and test it.
Most guys need no effort on this. Usually, guys are gifted with pretty good instincts, and I’ve proven it already a lot of times. Sometimes it’s passive, when am not even aware what I am thinking about something/someone was right. As for women, their intuitions are quite impressive –but most of the times, went too much far to being judgmental and worst; paranoid.
9. Swim – at least three different strokes. Doggy paddle won’t cut it. Learn two more. LOL
I love swimming, I want to stay in the pool and swim alone. Since I’m not into partying, mingling, videoke nor “Inuman” during swimming night outs.
10. Console a crying woman – Keep a handkerchief on your person. A clean one, since it’s not for you. Never approach a woman who is merely weeping or teary. Say “I’m sorry to disturb you, but is there anything I can do to help?” Whether she responds or not, offer the folded handkerchief. Point out that it’s clean. This should make her laugh. If she tells you to go away, do so immediately. If she says she’s fine tell her to keep the hanky.
I hate this, and to be into some crying situations – specially when I know I’m involved. I’m not good comforting a crying woman; I would rather play numb and just let her be. Crying as far as I believe is their biggest “blackmail”, ever! But it’s inevitable, can’t just avoid it. So, I would try the least that I could to be a “man”. hehe
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