Sunday, March 14, 2010

Revelation

I’ve told you that I am different, and you’d thought you already know what I mean. But why and how? This is what you should know firsthand.


Survival; is how I am living my life. I had accepted the fact that I’m always meant to be misunderstood, and eventually misjudged. I am used given unreasonable impressions, and I could never blame any of them-and I never will.
Alone; is how I faced, and how I’ve been through the challenges of this journey called life, I carried-and still carrying all these burdens I had-and having still. Alone; is how I conquered all the mischief that plowed my fields.
I’m in solitude, unfairly; they have me, but I don’t have them. I always listen, but I’m never heard. God knows how hungry I am to have someone to spill my sorrows to. How I’ve yearn to be able to cry on someone’s behalf. “Tao din naman ako?” I own this heart, where all emotions are over poured. . I’ve been considered numb; with a latent root and reason – No one bears with me, no one is aware on how and why I ended up silent, timid and cold...
How I wish I could be indistinct from ordinary, but I must admit that I am born lame though I detest. And Like every abnormal person in this planet, I’ve had more than enough heavy gazes. Stuffed with tons of discerning, bullies and sagacity from the people around me, even from that what is so called family. I am psychologically different, I am socially detached, I am emotionally battered, simply because I am born physically distinct. It’s not because I’m stubborn, arrogant or evil-natured, it’s not that I chose this fate, nor by any chances: that I deserve being punished or loathed. I am different from inside, cause I am different outside.
On behalf of my families’ damn, other than my father’s omit. This Physical difference of mine is also one to be blamed; that made me who I am now that somehow I despise.
I didn’t maintain this long hair for style, I am not in any way considered emo for nothing. I am not friendless, unwanted and not valued without deep reasons.
This is me that was unseen by some, and laughed at by most.


And if you’ll realize that I am not right for you, that somehow you don’t deserve someone like me and that I’m not worth loving. I can feel you, I understand you. May you bless me your forgiveness and hopefully, when we met after life, please don’t regret or do forget that for once, I’ve had your loving embrace.

1 comment:

  1. You always claim solidarity.
    For once you never felt how some people are eager to swim deeply after you.

    Since High school, since everything started.

    You are considered numb, because you always declare you are half-close to numbness. You never know how someone around you is being pinched every time you try to hold back your real emotions.

    In short - you never risk to find out who's willing to stay with you physically and mentally. And now,

    She's just so tired of waiting.
    Cause she already learned how to settle with what is available.

    Do you know?
    That she just died without your consent?

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