Thursday, March 5, 2015

Inevitable Loop



Attraction is never a choice; we don’t always get to choose who we love. There is never a time or place for love; we might fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. Poets may say that it occurs accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment, with no explanation, without definite reason – This is how exactly I could define my experience just few months ago. There’s this woman; young enough to be considered as my little sister, but in anyway we never felt that gap; and beautiful enough to make feel awkward being with, but somehow when we’re together I don’t feel ugly. There’s just something about her that makes me happy and sad at the same time, she can make or ruin my day, and she is giving me butterflies and headaches for the same reason. Obviously, I got smitten badly and I can’t deny it.

I am not stupid to assume; I am just being brave enough to risk and break my own heart.  Because sometimes we need to fall before we fly, and sometimes to really live, we've got to try. We can always find reasons to work things out. In the end, maybe we’re going to find, if what we feel in our hearts is real and mutual the whole time. We should try to open up our eyes, and hope to find who we are, and how worst or best we can be, with someone we dear. We probably won't end up together, I know that, no one could certainly say.  But why not live like we're forever? Cherish and be happy for every moment that we’re given to share and keep. Memories live within our very soul; good memories often stay in our hearts and make us think better of the future. We may part, but I wanna be that someone to cross her mind and leave a smile on her lips after.

Some of us were afraid to entertain our heart’s desires. Because there could be a lot of “what if’s” and “but’s” to cross our mind. Our own or the other’s past experiences, heart breaks, fears, and personal concerns. People always have something to say. Yet there are things we don’t need to understand, we can’t always try to change everything. Sometimes, it is not meant to be understood, not even always possible to just forget. But it could be simply, accepted, because after all, whatever people around us may say, it’s our life and it’s our own happiness at stake. Worries they say are only the products of our wrong imagination. We shouldn't let our fear hold us back from pursuing our dreams. One must stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start to think what could go right. There comes a time when our mind tells us one thing and our heart tells us another, then before we try to do anything, decide first whether we have a better heart, or a better mind. Does make sense, right?