False Pretense

People are quick to judge, but slow to correct themselves.

Many of us think we are thinking great when we are rearranging our prejudices against someone; thou when one's prejudice is strong, his judgement is weak.

Here and there, human nature of self-righteousness may be important in times of trial; but generally speaking, it is its weakness and not its strength that appears in a sick chamber: it is selfishness and impatience rather than generosity and fortitude, that one hears of. There is so little real friendship in the world, it's hard to tell who has your back, from who has it long enough just to stab you in it, and unfortunately, there are so many who forget to appreciate and think seriously till it is almost too late.

Too late to forgive, too late to forget. It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend, for the worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel -  it is the betrayal of a loved one; like wounded affection for giving poignancy to anger.

One can't simply admit their mistake. You felt that you could so much more depend upon the sincerity of those who sometimes looked or said a careless or a hasty thing, a soldier with a sharp mouth and a dull sword, than of those whose rationality never varied, whose tongue never slipped, those whose presence and care never faded.

And to Whom It May Concern:

It’s all evident now, you've thrown everything that we had. You were not contented to just move on with a new relationship, rather you want a new relationship after you toss aside your old one. All I've ever wanted was to be there, watch you take your own way after years of watching over you. But I didn't realize this is how badly you'll want me out of your journey once you've found some concrete path - to this point that you won't mind other people judging and insulting a person you have known for long. That you even gave a stranger a knife to stab a person you have depended on for years. Then finally made him feel he never existed and meant in your life.

Question, you could move on and be happy without hurting and betraying anyone, couldn't you? But why?

I felt worse than betrayed, far worse from the last time that you humiliated the two of us when you’ve let other people be part of our issues, now you did it again on terms where I’ll be the only person on the line.

You're serious about this now? Did you thoroughly think of it? Our issues were supposed to be over, you've made me pay more than enough already, what is this for then? I DON’T OWE you anything anymore, it’s actually the other way around but what are these for? I am not against the two of you, I'm selfish yes, about my own terms yet I didn't stop you from doing what could make you happy; I just wanted to be part of it and that's only what I've been being selfish for. I'm always right at your back but I didn't know you're leading me to a cliff all this time. I'm not against you nor him, yet why? Why did you let him do this to me? Is that right? All this time you still think of me as a threat that you’d make someone think of me as a horrible person to you? Regardless of the past, regardless of our recent arguments, aren't we in stable terms? What did I do unto you for me to deserve those prejudice and humiliation? From you and from someone who doesn't even know me and our story?

Are you sure no one's trying to dictate your life now aside from me? Because I could only see a man taking advantage of our complicated situation in the past to make you put your all and trust in him. That was courageous yes, to stand up for you, act like a smart ass and show you he will protect you. But the question is, does he have the right cause? You know he doesn't have any.

I was never a perfect friend, yes. But I know for a fact that a friend is someone who has the capacity to ruin you, but he never will. We both has the capacity to do so, but I never dared unlike you. You know I could be a mad man. You know I'm not afraid of anything, of offending anyone.. I could, but I won’t, because no matter what, you mean more than that for me, that’s why all I ever did with you was talk shit. 

Every woman who has been with me tried to ask me to make a choice between them and you, but I never entertained that ever because there's no reason to choose, there is never a competition between a partner and a friend. I stood up for your place in my life, altogether with my fucked up concepts in life, my presence didn't waver. I argued to them that whomever wanted to be with me should accept that you're already a significant part of me, a bond I wont severe, a friend I wont compare. But not anymore, you, you even made a fool out of me. Masaya kang pinagmukha niyo akong tanga at masama. I don’t deserve this from you, nor from him.

That's the choice you've made, and I'll see through it to the end.  

I just hope you will remember this, compared to anyone else, I have dealt with you the hardest way, ever. Yet I always stayed for you. ALWAYS.

Negros Oriental Trip

This is going to be the first time that Ill be sharing something really blog-like here, something about an actual travel. Mostly I'm posting about random stuff, poetry, riddles and some general information. For a change, I'll share you about my recent trip. I had the chance to go somewhere overseas for the first time with Joyce Ann, who was my recent partner. Although its still in the Philippines. Our destination is Dumaguete, at Negros Oriental in Visayas Region. I was excited, its going to be my first travel on an airplane! haha sounds so lame but yeah, I felt like a kid going to Enchanted Kingdom for the first time. Plus its going to be my first paid vacation leave after being a regular employee/Graphic Artist of the Company Im woking at. So Im kinda hopeful it would be a good time for me to relax, enjoy, rejuvenate and forget all the noises, pollution and clutter of Manila.

We availed the discounted promo fare of Cebu Pacific to get there. And there it was, we flew a hundred meters high and I realized it was just the same as riding a bus, only with a colder air-con, longer pathway in the middle and instead of the smelly, old or the supladong konduktor (conductor), there were pretty, well-groomed, smiling stewardess assisting your every need like food and drinks - yet in a very high price, I was shocked to know that a bottled water and an instant coffee could cost 80-120Php, haha.

Ill skip my experience above the skies, when we arrived at Dumaguete Airport, we were fetched in a Owner-type Truck going to our host's house at Tanjay. First stop and we already feast on sumptuous delicacies, one of their specialty, the Humba. It was too satisfying I didn't even remember to take a photo before it went down our stomachs. We stayed there for 7 days, and I was able to taste a lot of delicious foods and treats. Some that I was able to take photos of are the Budbud (Suman), Tsokolate (Tablea), Tempura (looks like kikiam for me but tastes different), Crabs, Sansrival Cake and a lot more, I could say eating has consumed entirely half of my experience there. :D

At Tanjay, one of the first thing I noticed was their Tricycles, as compared to the usual tricycles around manila, the tricycles of Tanjay and Dumaguete are larger, almost jeep-like in exterior, and has a lot more passenger capacity.  I cant imagine how those Trycs would fit Manila's tight and crowded roads.

Early in the morning, after our first night in a quiet, cold, and old place, we went for a walk in the boulevard/sea side park just 15 minutes away. My company, Joyce went there to jog but since I have no running shoes, I was contented just sight-seeing, looking out to sea, enjoying the fresh air of the Orient.

We spent the first two days visiting their relatives around, eating, watching the television, and eating again; taking walks around the street to look for foods to try. And on the third day, our expeditions began. From Tanjay, we have to pass through Dumaguete City before reaching Valencia, so we didn't waste time and dropped by at the famous Dumaguete Bell Fry, beside it is the St. Catherine of Alexandria Church.

We went up to the mountains of Valencia to look for the 100 meter-high Casaroro Falls, we didn't expected its such a drag to go there, our Van cant handle the rocky road uphill so we had to hike our way up to the entrance of the falls. But wait, there's more, through the entrance awaits the 387 steps down to meet a rocky river-side trail going to the falls, we have three elder people with us who cant conquer the trail going to the falls so they went up again to the entrance.

I with Joyce and her cousins then paved our way through. And after 20 minutes, we reached our destination, and its totally worth it! The Falls is so amazing and the water is very cold, its just like a scene in the Avatar movie. While they were all contented taking photos around the falls, I took my privilege to test the waters even though there's a huge sign in the entrance that says "No swimming". We're the only souls in there, so that didn't stop me from taking a dip into the falls basin. Its very cold and refreshing, I was being tempted by the falls to go near and feel water falling a hundred meters above us, I didn't take the risk. I've read online that drowning incidents already happened in there taking lives of several locals and tourists.

After few minutes of enjoying the view, we went back up up and I'm telling you, the 387 steps were a breeze going down, but going up? its entirely a different story.. haha. Our next stop was an Exclusive Nature Inspired Residential Community Resort Subdivision in Valencia situated 800 feet above sea level. They offer amenities like the Greek-inspired clubhouse and pavilion, enormous lagoon type infinity swimming pool, restaurant, lighthouse view deck, cliff-side boulevard, picnic and bonfire areas, spacious open parks and its latest craze, the zipline adventure ride, we only paid for a sight-seeing entrance fee though. After all the we enjoyed it because of the spectacular views.

We're supposed to go home already after visiting Tierra Alta, but our driver suggested we visit another falls nearby, the Pulang-bato Falls. Its actually a twin-falls. The surroundings on our ways there is unique, the mountains and rokscapes on the side of the road are red in color and some emits acid-smelling fumes. The color of the water Falls also appears red, but quickly turns clear once taken out from the river. It must be only a reflection of the red rock formations that make up most of the landscape. There's also a man-made pool there where we swam and took some dives.

The fifth day of our stay-cation is also big, in the morning we traveled a long way to Mabinay Spring, a natural spring park, we spent our time there swimming on the natural spring pool and walking around the forest while waiting for our service that will bring us to Bulwang where we had our Spelunking.

After Mabinay Spring, we went to three basic caves in Mabinay, the Panligawan Cave, the Pandalihan Cave and lastly, the Crystal Cave. Our tour Guide said that Bulwang Caves, or Mabinay claims to be the Cave Capital of the country because just in that area, there are more than 300 caves, and most of them are still unexplored. 

Inside and outside the caves are some animals living peacefully, which are signs that the environment is really alive and are not being disturbed.. 

I definitely would want to go back in there and experience the Advanced and Extreme Caves, they have a total of 8 caves open for public and they said that spelunking on the Advance and Extreme Caves of Mabinay are extraordinary, where they have to rappel, crawl, swim and hike under the caves. I cant wait to experience all that with my friends one day.

The whole week I stayed there was totally fun, which makes me think of the recent years I've been working hard without taking a good break. So starting this year and the next, I'll always think of giving myself a break once in a while, everyone should. After all life's too serious already to be taken seriously. The world is truly vast, and there's a lot of good places here in the Philippines to visit.